For those of you who are aware of the "Epic Rap Battles of History" This is basically a rap battle between our beloved Nathan Young and Lovable probably fictional Jesus Christ. For those of you who aren't aware of the epic rap battles of history you can still enjoy this but since it's been taken from that style... get on Youtube and watch some of their shit now its fucking great.
The Battle:[]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
NATHAN YOUNG!
VS!
JEEEEEE-SUUUUUS CHRIIIIIIIST!
BEGIN!
Jesus:[]
Ah. My child, It's so nice of you to be here,
Now just take a seat. Would like some wine? or beer?
But you'll be a repenting, my son. I watch you 24/7
Thus I can humbly promise that you are not going to heaven,
You're an arrogant, big headed, bullying prick,
No wonder Kelly left you for a guy with a dick!
You were replaced by a guy with an even crapper power.
You'll be shitting yourself when I kill you. Maybe give it an hour?
Immortality... Is that seriously something you're proud of?
Have a nice time in jail, slowly dying... kind of.
You lost all your friends and your mother kicked you out.
And you fell in love gay for a little freak? What's that all that about?
Now, you'd better love thy brother. Oh wait; yours died.
You haven't even rapped yet but don't bother. You'll get fried.
Nathan:[]
Shut up you little twat. You're probably a peadophile.
Now sit the fuck down and let me beat your arse for a while.
The fans? They love me! Every single one wants my return,
You can walk on water yet I'll make sure you burn!
We're gonna kick the shit out of Jesus! And smash him with a locker!
What's this? you're return is never happening? Oh, what a shocker,
My raps are from the A list. And so is my cock!
You're a glorified nerd, I'm a magician who rocks,
It's all just random mindless violence!
Your book spreads nothing but boredum and silence,
You couldn't leave a dent on me, Barry or Curtis,
Try all you want. But nothing you can do will hurt us!
Curtis:[]
What a prick. You can't even rhyme.
Listen... I missed the beginning so I gotta turn back time...
(Everything goes backwards...)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
NATHAN YOUNG!
VS...!
Curtis:[]
Now... where was I? Oh yeah. you're style's so broke.
I don't give a shit about you're following blokes!
The bible is bullshit. You can't resurrect like me.
I kill zombies, including myself, so now I'll just leave you pricks be...
Jesus:[]
You are a tad problematic. I see what you did there.
You just rewound time a bit.. Ooh! I'm so scared!
And Nathan? I'll kill you a bit like the potato famine,
Your immortality is so shit it needs examined.
Your bitch Marnie can come suck my dick,
Because nobody loves thee! You arrogant prick.
Nathan:[]
You think all your religious bollocks will be enough to beat this?
I was resurrected like.. 5 times! You only done it once, you clitoris.
You uplifted a flock or two but a flow you can't even carry,
And... Shit... I ran out of rhymes... Save me Barry!
Simon:[]
I'm not a freak. And Nathan's not a bully,
Just like light, your raps will pass right through me,
Now time for a change of costume for the woman i love...
Simon as SuperHoody:[]
This circle of time will be your slap of the glove.
God:[]
REPENT FOR YOUR SINS BITCHES!
Decended from the heavens, with Angles chorus!
Came my son who just beat your ass like the ghost of Chuck Norris,
But now It's me! The father of you all,
I'll deliver a kick into your soppy little balls,
I am the fabric of religion, and YOU are the paedophile.
I think it's time for you to confess and reconcile...
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY!